I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
