Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
