i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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