Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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