I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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