I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
