i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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