# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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