Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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