that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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