your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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