I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
