There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my being single is dangerous.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You left your phone here
Wait...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
