I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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