But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
