The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
