I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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