Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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