just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
is that a dick in a sweater?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
