Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
