Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
