you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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