He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize