shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
