well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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