Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The best revenge is premature balding
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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