She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
