kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
