He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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