have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
