I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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