she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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