Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
