he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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