is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
