Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
