If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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