i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
