Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
