physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
