Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize