i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
