Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
