I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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