I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize