3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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