her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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