it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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