Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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