people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize