So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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