you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize