I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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