Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
