He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
