I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
