As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
