Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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