glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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