I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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