90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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