We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
