Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
