I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
