moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
